December 26, 2017 | 12 am

Being sad all the time sucks; it’s  not intentional, I promise
One moment I’m happy, next I’m in a state of emotional turmoil
The source remains unidentifiable
Until then I’ll pretend to be oblivious to my conscience reaching out to me

Don’t peek

An unfinished painting

It’s canvas is there

Hesitant brush strokes

The paint still wet

Fragile and defensive 

Cautious of my next move

Afraid to alter the image I have in mind

Alas the image has been created

It’s not ready yet

It’s jagged corners

Anxious of unwanted oils seeping in

Artist has pushed

Art feels pressured

Art pushes artist away

It’s not ready yet

Just a girl

I am insecure of my abilities of keeping you.
For life I have not gained control of just yet.
Guilt lives within me as I cannot give you all of me for the time being.
I'm scared that you will realize and want to go
I wouldn't blame you.
I'm keeping you from enjoying life.
I blame myself for keeping you unhappy.

a girl who is still growing,
a girl who hasn't lived,
a girl who isn't as motivated
a girl who is just twenty.