Breathe

For a moment I felt the sun rays on my skin
Hairs stand up as I lie down and feel full
Yet a shadow lingers and my lungs are heavy
My words are submerged
Left jumbled. In disarray
I can’t decipher what hides behind this mess
So I am left muted, but my mind races on
Listing the good against the bad,
Desperate attempts to make the sun shine again
I do this until my lungs expand and feel lighter
The shadow becomes smaller
And when I regain my breath
I feel full once more

Weather Report

I walk in light rain,
Whose presence big enough to
cast a dark thundering cloud
To cover my rays of sun
Imitating my footsteps,
I walk on my toes now
For I am afraid she may catch my rhythm
And hear what I do on sunny days.
On days I no longer see grey,
I seek for my lost rays
But I’m afraid I’ve lost them once again

December 26, 2017 | 12 am

Being sad all the time sucks; it’s  not intentional, I promise
One moment I’m happy, next I’m in a state of emotional turmoil
The source remains unidentifiable
Until then I’ll pretend to be oblivious to my conscience reaching out to me

Don’t peek

An unfinished painting

It’s canvas is there

Hesitant brush strokes

The paint still wet

Fragile and defensive 

Cautious of my next move

Afraid to alter the image I have in mind

Alas the image has been created

It’s not ready yet

It’s jagged corners

Anxious of unwanted oils seeping in

Artist has pushed

Art feels pressured

Art pushes artist away

It’s not ready yet

Just a girl

I am insecure of my abilities of keeping you.
For life I have not gained control of just yet.
Guilt lives within me as I cannot give you all of me for the time being.
I'm scared that you will realize and want to go
I wouldn't blame you.
I'm keeping you from enjoying life.
I blame myself for keeping you unhappy.

a girl who is still growing,
a girl who hasn't lived,
a girl who isn't as motivated
a girl who is just twenty.

To my moon | December 21, 2016 | 4:32 am

Across oceans and seas

For love I seeked

And to you who strengthens me, 

You are the reason for my highest of peaks

My love, my heart, my stars

My eyes are for only you

Why look for happiness anywhere else

When you've been the reason I don't have to

For every time I cried

You gave me a millions reasons not to

For ever flower needs it's sun

For every planet must have it's moon

Pants On Fire

I have one rule, just one.
Don't lie to me.
That's all.
I can handle whatever else,
Just please, don't lie to me.