#GoalsFor2015

My only goal in 2015 is to be happy. 

Genuinely, insistently, and consistently happy

December 28, 2014 | 4 A.M.

Ive come to a conclusion that I'm sad

Not at this very moment in particular

This can't be something minor, when you constantly feel worthless.

Like nobody loves you, like nobody ever will

I've accepted the fact that I will never be happy with myself, no matter how much I have succeeded

My closest friends and family don't know me.

They don't know who I am, how I truly think.

Because if they did, they would realize how much I need them

There's a time when life brings upon us an obstacle or two,

But it feels as if every day is an obstacle,

Not in a physical idea sort of speak,

But rather the difference in how I present myself to others, and how I feel when I'm alone.

I'm trying.

Seasonal

Don't you hate it when your favorite fruits aren't in season? It can't just be me. It's fall going on winter and of course there aren't many fruit options to choose from, but here are two that are in season and have taken me thus far through these chilly mornings. 

                                                                 - Dua 

                                                    Pomegranates, yum!

                   

                               Persimmons, not to be mistaken for the tomato!

                   

Excerpt : 2

You know what I'm going to say it because it is obvious everyone else praises this shit mentality.

NO it is not okay for someone to play with another person's emotions, no matter what past that person might've had or what you think that person deserves. You might be thinking of it as a side thing but that person is taking your attention and believing the lies you're telling them. Oh yeah and I literally hate the term "talking to someone" like is it now socially unacceptable for someone to be in a relationship with another person ???? Idk but I'm just saying this weird ass mentality everyone has going on about relationships, I'm not a fan. I need someone who cares for me, and voluntarily makes time to talk to me. Because if you truly liked someone you would never be too busy for them. I don't see the point in raising a persons hopes and then one day just not caring for them. I hate this inhumane shit man, I have feelings, and I want to be liked for me. I want to be someone's one and only. I want to be a person that someone makes time for; not because they have to but because they want to. To all the people who do have that, I respect you, maybe the rest could learn a thing or two from you all.

Excerpt : 1 - Dua

It's hard to strive for something that's always just out of reach. 

I'm surrounded by my sister who's never had to try so hard to keep her figure in tact. It sucks to know that someone with the same blood has such an easier life. But why? Because of some stupid metabolism? Because I wasn't the third child to be born into my family? 

Do you realize how hard it is to work out constantly and eat healthy but still not be where you want to be. While my sister is over in the other room complaining at how she's losing too much weight.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????? She's never experienced crying constantly because she's not happy at how she looks. She doesn't realize how easy she has it. 

Before I go to bed and get out of it I force myself to look in the mirror and repeat in my mind, im such an ugly person, why can't i look more like my sister? why can't it just be easier for me to lose the weight I want to remove. Why can't it just be easier for me to love myself and be satisfied with the way I look now?

I hate my body, I will always no matter how much weight I lose. 

Fading into the crowd

I've been in college (uni) for about a month now. I've realized the cliques and groupings there are amongst the students that go here.  Now a lot of the time it's by race, styles, and just of people who have known each other for a long time. Being that it only has been a month I could understand why people haven't made it there point to branch put from everyone else. Everyone seems the same. The hipsters look like the other hipsters. The "ghettos" look like the other "ghettos". The foreigners, well they look like foreigners. I'm trying my best to look different from the rest of everyone else here. I have not noticed that anyone gave the street style look a try here. That is why street style specifically in European and Asian countries have been my ultimate way of going. If we aren't trying to look different, then we'll just blend in with everyone else and that's no fun. 

Ps just spotted a boy with overalls, and that hasn't been spotted yet. YOU GO BOY! (Indirect approval) lol

-see ya x

Football Season Is Among Us!

Football season is almost here everyone, so I think it's time for a football themed post! Im not going to lie I'm not the biggest fan of football but my brother is, so I had to dedicate this one to him. Here is he and my niece matching each other wearing RGIII Redskins jerseys. I hope you enjoy how cute this is as much as I did! Click on the pictures to go through the pictures easier. :)

                         

                         

bloglovin stuff

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The Grad of 2k14

(you can tell i was excited lol)

Hey everyone! As you can tell I've graduated from high school last Friday, May 30, 2014. High school has been a blessing, I've got to discover who I am. The road to this day had some bumps along the way but it was truly worth it. I came out happy with myself and with the people I've surround myself with. This is only the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. 

An ode to future AP students

It starts out as a thought 
Curiosity then controls
A Sense of wondrous images 
Flicker between the electric wires of my brain 
Buzzing of emotions 
Like drinking a fresh glass of, 
nervousness and excitement. 
It's the first day 
You're surrounded by familiar faces and sounds,
girls screeching --as if they didn’t just see each other. 
Guys hugging but you know-- discreetly  
because it isn't very "manly", so they say 
Teachers are filled with welcomes and smiles 
"This class is college level" they say 
"No slacking, college's don't accept slackers" they say 
I just thought it was a scare tactic 
I took it lightly 

First Quarter is here 

this is where the unfamiliarity occurs 
mystifying words 
letters, numbers, lines, shapes jumbled up together 
You'll actually think you've gone dyslexic at one point. 
Oh yeah, 
DO NOT FEAR THE PRETEST 
I REPEAT for emphasis 
DO NOT FEAR THE PRETEST 
you'll get the concept...eventually...maybe.

Second and Third Quarters mosey on by 
In other words, "The Fuzzy stages",  
a big blur if you ask me 
This period is like you're sophomore and junior years 
or like being the middle child, 
they're  kind of just there 
Time passes quicker then it may seem 
Priorities are chosen wisely 
It's like choosing a Pokemon to battle in your dual, 
which one will get you to the top,  
which priority will get you to become the next Pokemon Master ? 
Yeah I know one of the most important classes in your High School career 
and I'm relating it to Pokemon. 
Because although it may seem like you've just started these, 
so called Fuzzy Stages, 
They are the body of our knowledge  
The plot of our story 
we ask ourselves what really happened in these 2 quarters, 
and no one really knows 
but all you do know is that thought is now viewed in depth 
BUT you're still kind of iffy about that ghastly exam in May. 

Now it is fourth quarter, 
Yeah I know. 
It passes like the period of this poem, you don’t really know how to describe the length of it. 
The dreadful date, May (enter date here) gets closer and closer. 
The walls of your inner thoughts seem to be closing in on you 
Overwhelmed, Intimidated. 
Words zoomed passed your mind a mile a minute, 
Am I ready for this? Is it even worth taking the exam? I'm not smarter than so and so. Gosh three hours sounds like a long time. What if this entire year of taking this class is just a waste of my time? 
THIS is where the uncontrollable thoughts start to take over. 
Comparing yourself to someone else, 
Not the best thing to do. It's pretty ignorant if you ask me. 
Self-encouragement is lost and no where to be found. 
No type of pride in your own work 
Accepting the fact that you probably aren't the best. 
THESE are the words I thought to myself every time I walked through the doors of my AP Classes 
Because there's always someone better. 
Don't do it. 
The disbelief in one's self because of the public system literally telling us you're not as smart as someone else. 
How is one not intimidated after that? 
It doesn't matter in the end. 
Hard work pays off 
If you truly believe that you're good enough, don't let the words of doubt control you. 
You are your own person and if you want to challenge yourself, 
I say go for it.                                        -Dua Kheiry 

Creep-Radiohead Cover

I've done a cover with my good friend Mievre Hope you like it!

I was looking through old assignments and I found this poem i wrote in my English class last year

(Untitled)

I run

faster and faster

I try to hide from my surroundings

Emotions, oh so many of those

They run through the blood streams of my body

Trying to figure things out

Such effort to put two and two together

What are my feelings today?

Shortened breath and confusion is it?

Restlessness and  frustration

Unanswered questions

Feeling of  Hopelessness

Disappointment

Why me?

I find myself asking this a little too often

I'm a good person aren't I?

So why?

Why me of all people?

Does karma hate me so bad,

That I receive both bad ends of the spectrum?

I lay here still now

Out the window, a luminous flame peeks through

It truly is remarkable once you think about it

But I don't ponder over it for too long

Soon it will be gone

Gone forever it shall be

Just like the rest        -D.K.

A piece by Katie Makkai called Pretty. (I suggest everyone read this)

Cover Time!

hey guys
i just uploaded a video onto my channel of my sister doing a cover. Enjoy x

Here is the originally song if you haven't hard it and would like to.

 

~Grace~

Such elegance she attained
the way she went about things
the way she moved
she pushed for him
she saw something different about this one
It was the lust that pulled him in
the way their eye's never left one another,
the way she blushed as he embraced every inch of her beautiful, beautiful skin
the imperfections she thought she attained,
was what attracted him the most
those spots she hated,
her shape wasn't what she wanted it to be,
her waist wasn't as narrow as the veins that connected to and from her motherboard,
the motherboard that keeps her trapped in this malfunctioned world
She tried to better herself
she will never be satisfied
It was the lust that pulled him in
Her alluring body couldn't compare to how beautiful her soul truly was
the mystery that filled within this girl brought out her sexuality
He wanted to learn more
But where does he start?
How could he tame this delicate yet wild lion?
It was the lust that pulled him in
The air between her plump lips and his thrusting pulse became thinner
They felt the heavy breathing of one another on each others lips
so close yet their minds so different
not a word was spoken out into the little space that lingered in between them
they knew what they wanted for each other
they knew what they wanted to do to each other
He anxiously awaits the taste of her
She can't find a way to express her contradicting mind
They collide with such force
a passion filled force
Now part of the clash of galactic clusters that created this anxious dark matter
It was the lust that pulled him in
but it was the curiosity that kept him there

Solitary Pleasures

Fuck shit, get money they said.
        Get a degree they said.
The eyes of an outsider does not realize what it is causing
        Pain, frustration, despair.
A hormonal teen full of fucked up emotions.
        She sits alone in the dark,
This is her paradise.
        Looking to what her life has become
Or what will become of it.
       You'll be happier this way they said.
Fuck em.
       Pounds stacked upon her,
Each getting heavier as time passes.
      One
Two
      Three
She erupts.
      Into a thousand little liquefied pieces.
For once thinking about herself.
      No one is around
To witness her in her true form
      It's safer this way.
Fuck you
      Fuck all of you she said
She spoke her thoughts
      To the only thing that would listen
The empty space around her.
      Dazed
Flustered
      Confused         -- D.K.

10 Things you didn't know about Mascara

                               

Someone has been keeping a Secret from us! Here are some helpful tips you should know about mascara.

1. Mascara doesn't last forever! It expires after 3-5 months of purchase. So make sure to get rid of it to reduce the chances of getting a bacterial infection. Now that doesn't very sound pleasant at all. 

2. Keep your wand! Although you should be throwing away the old mascara, the wand can be used as a spoolie to brush your eyebrows. What I do is I use it as a base to elongate my lashes first and then I use it once more after I have applied mascara in order to get rid of clumps. 

3. Take it off.  I know after a long day you might tend to forget to take your makeup off or you just don't  feel like getting up to do so.  I assure you that removing the mascara is  crucial  because it dries overnight which causes lashes to fall off.

4. Voluminous lashes? We all want that full lash look, want to know a secret? powder your lashes-using baby powder and a cotton swab- before application for an extra umf. 

5. Moisture is KEY!  It's easy to forget that our lashes need some loving too, and they should be taken care of just as much as the hair on your head. So before bed, moisturize your lashes with olive oil or any moisturizer to keep them hydrated. Just be careful to keep anything out of your eyes.

6. Not every day is a Water Proof day. Water proof Mascara is crucial for those tearful moments but using it every day is NOT advised! Water  proof mascara is designed to be difficult to take off so constantly tugging at your lashes can make them weaker and eventually fall off.

7. Keep your eyes open. This is a pretty well known fact but if you don't know here it goes. The key is to try not to blink during application because it'll ruin your mascara. Keep your mouth wide open, that way it's a bit harder to blink.

8. No more smudging! Hate getting  mascara  on your eyelids? I know I do. Avoid them by placing an old business card or plastic spoon on your eyelid, right above your lashes. Apply your mascara in this position, and any excess product will go onto the business card or spoon, not your eyelid.

9.Seal The Deal. To add a finishing touch to your  mascara. Coat your lashes with clear mascara after application. This will help to solidify your lashes and protect the mascara from smudging or running.

10. Have you found the one? There are so many different types of mascara with different functions. You have to find which is right for you. It's kind of like dating, you have to go through trial and error to finally get to the good stuff. Do you need to lengthen? curl? give volume? Whatever it is you need, there’s a mascara out there waiting for you. If you can't find it, try mixing different mascaras together to result in you perfect looking lashes.

Source: http://beautyhigh.com/weird-facts-about-mascara/?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_131119

The Associates

Being alone

Physically

That causes the paranoia,

Not knowing what to do

Is there someone there?

Make sure to have an escape plan, 

Just in case.

I think my life away

Mentally

These thoughts start to merge within my well being

Manipulating every cell in my body

Is there someone there?

God dammit 

I ask what's wrong with me

Socially

Piled under the standards of who I should be

The unknowing if those tears are made from joy or sadness

Can't think straight 

Don't know where to run 

Or better yet where to hide

Hide from what?

The thoughts

My very own.

Do I run away or towards them?

Is there someone there?

Of course there is.          --D.K.

January Music favs

A local band by the name of : The relics 

Collard greens by Schoolboy Q ft. Kendrick Lamar

Counting Stars: One Republic

Trench, Neutral and BOLD

Trench Coats are literally the best thing, they're so simple but make such a great statement piece. These two outfits pretty much sum up the general clothing items I've been wearing when i'm going anywhere that requires me to look "presentable". As you can tell I couldn't choose between shoes so i chose ones that I thought could be appropriate for the attire no matter where you're actually going.  Shoes really speak for themselves and complete an outfit that's why i like to choose fairly simple clothing items and bolder shoes. Also keep it simple with jewelry if the outfit has any type of pattern, if it is a solid color then it would be better to go for a bolder jewelry piece!

Tip: Watch out for the sizes of jewelry and Neutral clothing items (nothing too crazy) and a bold shoe!

Neutral but BOLD by dakkity featuring pleated pants

J Crew shirts top
jcrew.com

Miss Selfridge crop top
missselfridge.com

Barneys New York black coat
barneys.com

Chloé pleated pants
$835 - brownsfashion.com

Again highwaisted pants
$480 - oxygenboutique.com

Vans white skate shoes
$45 - office.co.uk

Topshop black leather boots
topshop.com

ASOS black leather boots
asos.com

Yves Saint Laurent blue platform sandals
ysl.com

Splendid nubuck oxford shoes
splendid.com

Rihanna For River Island heeled sandals
openingceremony.us

Rose gold jewelry
luvaj.com

H M brown belt
$13 - hm.com