Wave

I've been quite content with my life at the moment. 

These first four days of 2016 have been good to me.

But it's currently 3:05 am, and my mood has changed dramatically...

It seems that a wave of sadness has just stricken over me.

I'm not aware of the reason, but my heart feels numb.

And i don't know how to fix it

please help.

Do I think I'm crazy?

I believe that we all inhabit a bit of "crazy" in us. 

We all have this secret life that no one is allowed to see but ourselves. 

We might let a few in on the secret, but don't dare to show them. 

Why?

I don't know

maybe it's because we're scared, 

maybe it's because this bit is the only truest form of ourselves left in this life. 

We cling onto this "bit of crazy" because we know that once it's gone, so are we. 

                                     - Dua

Excerpt : 2

You know what I'm going to say it because it is obvious everyone else praises this shit mentality.

NO it is not okay for someone to play with another person's emotions, no matter what past that person might've had or what you think that person deserves. You might be thinking of it as a side thing but that person is taking your attention and believing the lies you're telling them. Oh yeah and I literally hate the term "talking to someone" like is it now socially unacceptable for someone to be in a relationship with another person ???? Idk but I'm just saying this weird ass mentality everyone has going on about relationships, I'm not a fan. I need someone who cares for me, and voluntarily makes time to talk to me. Because if you truly liked someone you would never be too busy for them. I don't see the point in raising a persons hopes and then one day just not caring for them. I hate this inhumane shit man, I have feelings, and I want to be liked for me. I want to be someone's one and only. I want to be a person that someone makes time for; not because they have to but because they want to. To all the people who do have that, I respect you, maybe the rest could learn a thing or two from you all.

Excerpt : 1 - Dua

It's hard to strive for something that's always just out of reach. 

I'm surrounded by my sister who's never had to try so hard to keep her figure in tact. It sucks to know that someone with the same blood has such an easier life. But why? Because of some stupid metabolism? Because I wasn't the third child to be born into my family? 

Do you realize how hard it is to work out constantly and eat healthy but still not be where you want to be. While my sister is over in the other room complaining at how she's losing too much weight.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????? She's never experienced crying constantly because she's not happy at how she looks. She doesn't realize how easy she has it. 

Before I go to bed and get out of it I force myself to look in the mirror and repeat in my mind, im such an ugly person, why can't i look more like my sister? why can't it just be easier for me to lose the weight I want to remove. Why can't it just be easier for me to love myself and be satisfied with the way I look now?

I hate my body, I will always no matter how much weight I lose. 

The Grad of 2k14

(you can tell i was excited lol)

Hey everyone! As you can tell I've graduated from high school last Friday, May 30, 2014. High school has been a blessing, I've got to discover who I am. The road to this day had some bumps along the way but it was truly worth it. I came out happy with myself and with the people I've surround myself with. This is only the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. 

~Grace~

Such elegance she attained
the way she went about things
the way she moved
she pushed for him
she saw something different about this one
It was the lust that pulled him in
the way their eye's never left one another,
the way she blushed as he embraced every inch of her beautiful, beautiful skin
the imperfections she thought she attained,
was what attracted him the most
those spots she hated,
her shape wasn't what she wanted it to be,
her waist wasn't as narrow as the veins that connected to and from her motherboard,
the motherboard that keeps her trapped in this malfunctioned world
She tried to better herself
she will never be satisfied
It was the lust that pulled him in
Her alluring body couldn't compare to how beautiful her soul truly was
the mystery that filled within this girl brought out her sexuality
He wanted to learn more
But where does he start?
How could he tame this delicate yet wild lion?
It was the lust that pulled him in
The air between her plump lips and his thrusting pulse became thinner
They felt the heavy breathing of one another on each others lips
so close yet their minds so different
not a word was spoken out into the little space that lingered in between them
they knew what they wanted for each other
they knew what they wanted to do to each other
He anxiously awaits the taste of her
She can't find a way to express her contradicting mind
They collide with such force
a passion filled force
Now part of the clash of galactic clusters that created this anxious dark matter
It was the lust that pulled him in
but it was the curiosity that kept him there

Tunage Time!

You can say I have a LARGE variety of music genres.  I was thinking that every month I would see if i can post my  favorite things Ive used for the month.  For the music portion for the month of November, so far, I've been obsessed with Lorde's album "Pure Heroine"

My favourite songs right now from the album is Tennis Court and Team which I'll link below!

Tennis Court:

Team:                                                          

Glory and Gore: