Table For One

I've been pulled into unfamiliar territory

And I don't know how to react

Im not sure if I'm lost or if I'm exactly where I need to be

I'm scared, optimistic, hopeful for something that I might not attain

This uncertainty has become a heavy weight,

But maybe I should just let the world take care of it

It's always nice to get a little reminder that you're the least favorite. Actions speak louder than words, and these actions are pretty clear. 

On the bright side at least they're not spitting lies in my face

    -A not happy Dua

P.S. I'm having a serious craving for a cup of Ramen Noodles at 2:25 am. 

Do I think I'm crazy?

I believe that we all inhabit a bit of "crazy" in us. 

We all have this secret life that no one is allowed to see but ourselves. 

We might let a few in on the secret, but don't dare to show them. 

Why?

I don't know

maybe it's because we're scared, 

maybe it's because this bit is the only truest form of ourselves left in this life. 

We cling onto this "bit of crazy" because we know that once it's gone, so are we. 

                                     - Dua

In the paraphrased words of Wentworth Miller

"This isn't a cry for help because a cry for help is only beneficial to those that believe that there is help to cry for"

[An Unwitnessed Murder]

He teased

Scared to breathe 

Completely ruined her 

He humiliated

Scared to express

Thoughts of regrets

He pulls her down

Afraid of being left behind

Full of fear

Water trinkets down the double almond shapes

That she's come to hate because of him

Down the face of 

To whom they would say beauty

To her, a face of terror 

One that feels no compassion

Creating a body of ocean

For someone who can't swim

Gasps for air

Transparent yells for help

Not a sound was let out

Her flailing arms have portrayed fear

Bystanders sit and stare

They witness 

They don't hear a plea for help

They remain silent

She starts to sink 

Lower and out of sight

She asks,

Why hasn't anyone helped me?

Did they not hear my cries? 

Cries for all she knew were crystal clear

Given up

She has sunken 

Bystanders sit and stare

But still remain silent.     - D.K.

#GoalsFor2015

My only goal in 2015 is to be happy. 

Genuinely, insistently, and consistently happy

December 28, 2014 | 4 A.M.

Ive come to a conclusion that I'm sad

Not at this very moment in particular

This can't be something minor, when you constantly feel worthless.

Like nobody loves you, like nobody ever will

I've accepted the fact that I will never be happy with myself, no matter how much I have succeeded

My closest friends and family don't know me.

They don't know who I am, how I truly think.

Because if they did, they would realize how much I need them

There's a time when life brings upon us an obstacle or two,

But it feels as if every day is an obstacle,

Not in a physical idea sort of speak,

But rather the difference in how I present myself to others, and how I feel when I'm alone.

I'm trying.