Excerpt : 1 - Dua

It's hard to strive for something that's always just out of reach. 

I'm surrounded by my sister who's never had to try so hard to keep her figure in tact. It sucks to know that someone with the same blood has such an easier life. But why? Because of some stupid metabolism? Because I wasn't the third child to be born into my family? 

Do you realize how hard it is to work out constantly and eat healthy but still not be where you want to be. While my sister is over in the other room complaining at how she's losing too much weight.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????? She's never experienced crying constantly because she's not happy at how she looks. She doesn't realize how easy she has it. 

Before I go to bed and get out of it I force myself to look in the mirror and repeat in my mind, im such an ugly person, why can't i look more like my sister? why can't it just be easier for me to lose the weight I want to remove. Why can't it just be easier for me to love myself and be satisfied with the way I look now?

I hate my body, I will always no matter how much weight I lose. 

Fading into the crowd

I've been in college (uni) for about a month now. I've realized the cliques and groupings there are amongst the students that go here.  Now a lot of the time it's by race, styles, and just of people who have known each other for a long time. Being that it only has been a month I could understand why people haven't made it there point to branch put from everyone else. Everyone seems the same. The hipsters look like the other hipsters. The "ghettos" look like the other "ghettos". The foreigners, well they look like foreigners. I'm trying my best to look different from the rest of everyone else here. I have not noticed that anyone gave the street style look a try here. That is why street style specifically in European and Asian countries have been my ultimate way of going. If we aren't trying to look different, then we'll just blend in with everyone else and that's no fun. 

Ps just spotted a boy with overalls, and that hasn't been spotted yet. YOU GO BOY! (Indirect approval) lol

-see ya x